Binge eating often happens in secret, but there’s usually someone who notices or perhaps we recognize it ourselves. The title might sound harsh, but it’s meant to be taken seriously. In this article, I’ve gathered some common but unhelpful suggestions that well-meaning people often give. If you hear these, it’s a sign that the person doesn’t really understand the issue. Before we dive in, let’s clarify what I mean by binge eating.
Binge Eating vs. Binge Eating Disorder
I’m not talking about binge eating disorder, but rather binge eating itself. The characteristics of binge eating can vary widely, but the symptoms don’t reach clinical severity. You might experience the following during a binge eating episode:
- Eating faster than usual
- Feeling a loss of control over the quality or quantity of food
- Experiencing guilt or shame after eating
- Consuming large amounts of food, judged either objectively or subjectively
- Eating regardless of hunger signals
- Eating to the point of discomfort
- Trying to “erase” the episode from your memory
If these symptoms occur weekly for at least three months, I strongly recommend seeing a psychiatrist as it may indicate an eating disorder.
It’s important to note that these symptoms can occur with just a slice of chocolate or with two whole bars. Now, let’s look at the “brilliant” advice you should avoid.
“It’s Just a Matter of Willpower”
This phrase drives me crazy. Anyone who tells you to work on your willpower likely has never experienced binge eating. In most cases, you’re driven by subconscious factors or life instincts, making willpower ineffective. While willpower can be discussed later, once underlying issues are addressed, it’s not the root cause in 99.9% of cases. If someone suggests this, it’s best to consider them uninformed about the topic and possibly about you as well.
“Get Distracted”
My first coach suggested that when I felt the urge to binge eat, I should go for a run, meditate, or find a distraction. Sorry, but I had to laugh. The essence of binge eating is losing control. Who can start meditating in such a state? It’s unrealistic and unhelpful advice for anyone in the midst of a binge eating episode.
“A Sticky Note on the Fridge Can’t Hold You Back”
Another suggestion was to stick notes on the fridge and cabinets with messages like, “Are you sure you’ll feel better?” or “You’re strong!” I enthusiastically wrote these notes, hoping they would help. However, such advice is only useful if the root problem is already addressed. A sticky note won’t stop a binge eating episode, and failing to follow this advice doesn’t mean you’re weak-willed.
“Replace with Healthy Foods”
If you’re about to binge eat, replace unhealthy foods with healthy versions. This advice is laughable. When you’re in the grip of a binge eating episode, you don’t have the presence of mind to choose healthy alternatives. This suggestion completely misunderstands the nature of binge eating.
“Come Up with Rules and Limits”
This is my favorite: when struggling with binge eating, people often suggest new diets and rules. The idea is that more rules will help you stay in control. However, imposing more rules can actually trigger more episodes. Your body might rebel against these restrictions, making the problem worse.
The main point of this article is to avoid taking advice from those who don’t understand the issue or your personal background. Don’t let others make you feel inadequate because you can’t follow their misguided suggestions. The goal should be a change in perspective and a deeper understanding, which requires hard, long-term work. In future articles, I’ll discuss how to approach binge eating more effectively.
Do you feel like you need help with binge eating or binge eating disorders? Come, I will help you!
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